All for One and One for All?
Written by Cassie Licari & Dominique Houle on 05/11/10
Most of us strive to feel a sense of belonging. We all want to be surrounded by others who share our interests and pastimes. Some youth join cliques and gangs as a way to feel included; however this type of belonging is met at a very dangerous cost. Below are some of the characteristics of both cliques and gangs, and a little bit of information on what healthy relationships are all about, where true friends include and accept you for who you are; no strings attached.
How to Recognize a Clique
- Not every group of friends is a clique; what makes this type of group unique is that they purposely exclude others by leaving them out of their activities. There are generally leaders within a clique who have more “power” than the others; they are the ones who call the shots in the group.
- Youth who are part of a clique may change the way they act or behave, in order to fit in with the group. They join a clique or are accepted into the group, based on the idea that they will feel included and share common interests with others, when sometimes this isn’t the case.
- Sometimes youth in a clique treat “outsiders” differently or in a mean way, by insulting or taunting others who are different. This is not the way a true friend should act; everyone deserves the right to be treated fairly among their peers.
If you are excluded from a particular clique, you may feel hurt, upset, sad or alone. Or, you may be part of a clique yourself, and wish to leave it because of the way you are supposed to act or the way you are treated. If members of a clique are treating you or a friend badly (whether you are a part of the clique or not), tell a trusted adult, like a teacher or parent. They may be able to give you some helpful advice or help you in other ways too.
For more information on cliques, visit this website.
How to Recognize a Gang
Gangs are a little different than cliques. They are both groups of people who get together for the same intentions in mind, but gangs are far more dangerous; the dynamics of gangs is more complicated than most of us know, and often involve criminal activity.
There is currently no official definition of “youth gang”, they are different from youth groups in that they tend to be more organized, have some sort of leadership structure, self-identify as a group and are involved in a number of delinquent acts within the community. They carry out anti-social and delinquent behaviour (such as involvement with drugs, weapons and inappropriate sexual acts), and they also rely on group intimidation and violence.
- Gangs often have a name and identify themselves through the use of gang colours, lingo, secret symbols or hand gestures. They also may have some form of process in place to “initiate” someone into their gang.
- Gangs are not only present in cities; they can be found anywhere in both small and large communities. They are also highly diverse. They differ in size structure, sophistication, age range, racial and ethnic diversity, gender composition and permanency. Members can also be from a wide range of backgrounds.
- There is no single reason why youth join gangs, there can be a combination of factors, such as: excitement seeking/a thrill, looking for protection, power, to gain a sense of belonging, or to make money.
- If you or someone you know is in immediate or life-threatening danger because of gang activity, call 9-1-1 or tell a police officer right away.
Click here for more information from Public Safety Canada, or check out this RCMP webpage as well. You can also read our Knowzone factsheet to learn more about it.
What Makes a Healthy Relationship
Here are some qualities that help make a relationship a positive one:
- Common interests are shared.
- There is trust and honesty
- You share your thoughts and feelings with one another
- There is respect for opinions, beliefs and feelings
- There is sincerity.
- You accept your friends for who they are.
- There is commitment; you encourage and support each other
- There is no peer pressure
For information on healthy and safe relationships, take a look at one of our blog posts.
While we are teenagers, figuring out where we belong can be a difficult and interesting time. The way we deal with pressure on a daily basis can drastically change which direction we choose to go in. So regardless of whom you decide to befriend, make sure you are comfortable with them and that your friendship is a healthy one.
Links
DEAL.org: Knowzone: Gangs
DEAL.org: Blog: Stop Peer Pressure in its Tracks!
KidsHealth
Public Safety Canada
Royal Canadian Mounted Police: Environmental Scan 2006
Edmonton Police Service
Government of Alberta: Healthy Relationships
Alberta Health Services
2 Reader Comments:
Missy2112June 4th
That is not true as I am in a Clique and I am the leader.It is nothing like what you have said.We do everything together and maybe yes sometimes we leave people out but its not on purpose though like you said.Being in a clique means you have friends for all your school years set and you get to hang out with people who share the same interest like my clique loves clothes and boys and nails and things like that well this other random as group(btw they r so weird)like things like skating and they are girls! I don’t see my BFF’s and I as being mean and excluding people,it is not excluding people if you don’t talk to them and leave them alone.
Dominique HouleJune 10th
Hello Missy 2112,
Have you considered the possibility that you and your friends are not a clique and simply a group of friends? Usually a clique is a group of friends in which the members often purposely exclude others by leaving them out of their activities or sometimes treat “outsiders” differently or in a mean way, by insulting or taunting them. It’s a group where the members often do not have an equal role. I think it’s great that you and your friends do not do this. Just keep in mind that meeting new people and making new friends can also be a plus!
Salut Missy2112,
As-tu réfléchis à la possibilité que tes ami(e)s et toi n’êtes pas une bande, mais simplement un groupe d’ami(e)s?La définition commune d’une bande est qu’il s’agit d’un groupe d’ami(e)s dont les membres ont souvent tendance à exclure volontairement les autres et parfois traité ces derniers différemment ou méchamment en les insultants ou taquinant. C’est un groupe dont les membres ne sont habituellement pas égaux. Je crois que c’est super que tes ami(e)s et toi n’agissez pas ainsi. Gardez toutefois en tête que rencontrer de nouvelles personnes et se faire de nouveaux(elles) ami(e)s peut aussi être excellant!